Tomorrow (actually today, because it is already 00:32 so…) is Father’s Day here in Brazil. It’s going to be my first without my father, who passed away on february of 2013. I don’t actually know what to expect, i guess it will only be a regular day, like any other but I’d bet anything that if I start to think about my father, or even to only think about the celebration itself I’ll cry.
It’s sad to tell how fast things change, you know. I was travelling when daddy started having symptoms of Hepatitis B, and nine day after that he was gone. It’s already been 6 months since than, and my life has changed so much! I moved out from my beautiful big house full of memories to an tiny empty apartment, I have been studying 10 times more than i used to so I don’t have time to think of how much does it constantly hurts, and not to talk about the mother/brother issues that I have. Life changed into a severe way that I would not wish on anyone.
So, that being said, I’m sad. I’m blue. I’m not feeling very optimistic about school or happiness, get it? We -people, i mean- just need sometime to feel melancholy, and I think my time is coming again, even though I don’t want it to.
Or not, i might be wrong, and all I’m saying is just bullshit. The only thing I know is that right now I miss my father, and for me that’s enough.
(Day to day I’ll talk more about it, I’m just not comfortable enough…. I’m feeling a bit alone, like I’m the only one who can hold this kind of feeling, i think. But It’s will fit where it has to fit, no worries)